UNBECOMING

“Home, when it’s inside of us, allows us to sit still.” -Allison Moorer I used to want to own an airstream. Now I want to be the airstream. Heart is where the home is. Perhaps I have had this phrase turned around in my head all these years. It is not about going but welcoming and arriving. To be at home within myself and show up move-in ready to every day of my life. To know that I am enough and fully-equipped to handle whatever comes my way. I have long been enamored with wa

Good vibes only. Attitude of gratitude. Is it really possible that by focusing on what we have we can completely block out the negative side of life? Is it realistic? Aren’t people who are always smiling a little creepy and not to be trusted? I was coaching a class recently, and the workout was miserable. It was over 90 degrees without A/C, and there were burpees involved. As a coach, I didn’t have anything encouraging to say. It was going to be a grueling day. “I will be rig

Shelter in Place: To seek protection from an environmental hazard by sealing oneself in a safe and secure location instead of fleeing or evacuating. One must stay indoors and rely on stored supplies or, if materials must be imported from a contaminated environment, rely on filtration systems that remove toxins, viruses, bacteria, and other potentially dangerous materials until the hazard passes. "Shelter in Place" is the command issued when we need to be protected from a cont

“You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” – Pema Chodron My mother and I used to share the same devotional reading. We each had our own copy of “Streams in the Desert” by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman. Mom and I would exchange phone calls sharing our excitement each day. “Isn’t it amazing! Today’s passage was exactly what I needed.” We both found comfort and guidance in words. We found connection. There was always a stream of hope buried deep beneath the desert. Little

“I'm not a body with a soul, I'm a soul that has a visible part called the body.” ― Paulo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" I spend a large part of my life helping people strengthen and improve their physical bodies. As a CrossFit affiliate owner, we want to see all of our athletes maintain optimal levels of health. We don’t do it because we want them to look the best or have top scores on the leaderboard. We do it because life happens. Cancer, illness, death, or heartbreak show up on

“I’m going to practice saying yes more this year.” “SHUT UP!” “Oy! That’s a TERRIBLE idea.” These were the heartfelt responses from my tribe of loving and supportive colleagues. In their defense, they know that I tend to be tired and overextended. I am a full-time faculty member teaching six composition classes, my family owns a CrossFit affiliate, and I am pursuing my calling as a writer. Oh yeah, and there are the two little humans I am raising. I have clearly said some ver

Overscheduling and trying to do it all disconnect us from our true selves. We bury our inner voice so deep in minutiae and everyday tasks th

One of my best friends and favorite people in college was Terri. Her smile and positive attitude were absolutely infectious. Whether we were prepping for exams or preparing the salad bar at Ruby Tuesdays (Hostesses with the Mostestes), she was always sure to brighten my day in true “Terri-fic” fashion. She did not allow or tolerate negativity. If she caught me degrading or talking down about myself, she made me stop and give five things that I loved about myself. FIVE things!

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." -Louisa May Alcott I went on a walk with a close family friend last week. We are incredibly grateful for the way she has acted like a grandmother to my kids, who are missing that presence in their lives. She is a financial planner by trade and also happens to be a straight shooter. We never wonder what she is thinking. While on our walk, we discussed my mom’s situation. Friend: Did anyone else in your family h

I decided to pull the emergency brakes and call a halt for the summer. My mind replayed the image of a cartoon where characters use a broom to sweep up a huge cloud that covers the entire room and blocks out all light. Self exploration and reading led me to sling open every door, drawer and closet of my internal self and pull my heart and soul out into the open. I was living in the middle of that unbecoming dust storm. Everything was up in the air. My plan for the summer was

I have 401 unread text messages on my phone. I never notice that number. Occasionally, someone will glance at my phone and see it. They are flabbergasted. "How do you live that way?" I am not exactly sure how it happened. I think I read some one liners without opening them. Group texts have definitely contributed to the excess. Most of the messages are irrelevant and out of date at this point. It is a textual wasteland. I am old enough to remember when the family shared one r

I don’t ever speak to my high school friends, rarely converse with my college friends and seldom talk with my New York City or Colorado friends. Most of my life is spent in the here and now. Yet, I can tell you when those friends have taken exciting trips, celebrated milestones or experienced tragedy. Social media provides a live feed into the lives of acquaintances both near and far. But at times, I have to remind myself that our entire culture, including my circle of friend

My dad used to say, “If one person calls you a jackass you can ignore him. If three people call you a jackass, you should find a saddle.” After a member of my book club, my husband, a friend and a fellow writer all recently told me not to “take things personally,” I thought the time had come to saddle up. “Don't take it personally.” This statement flew at me from every direction. But why? What kind of self-absorbed person makes everything about herself? Conversations about bo

Grounded. Centered. Balanced. I used to think these words were cliché and obnoxious. I was a busy, efficient person - a real go-getter. There was no time for new agey nonsense. Yet I have changed my tune over the past year. For thirty seven years, I was a manager, project director and task master in my life. These days, I am slowing down to enjoy being present. I am living, not just doing. I am learning that while presence is paramount and life changing, it is not easy to att

“Not till we are lost, in other words, not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations.” -Henry David Thoreau, Walden Well, it happened. Emotional gridlock. I work to maintain balance in my life but occasionally I still crumble. There was too much noise: practice, business meetings, unread emails, papers to grade, school functions, ants in the kitchen, and the list goes on. It was time for deli

Perhaps this new beginning comes with a toddlerhood of its own. Each new phase demands fresh-tilled soil to start anew with a tiny seed. In

“WE CAN CHANGE THE WEATHER IN OUR FLAT!” My husband does not even flinch when I burst into his office with a grand idea or revelation. I confess that I am an enthusiastic, “Guess what?!” type of person. But on this occasion, the wheels were really turning. I was reading Zadie Smith’s latest novel, Swing Time. The narrator states that her parents got divorced and “the weather changed in their flat.” I could immediately relate to the image. This is a universal truth beyond divo