UNBECOMING

This past Sunday I felt more like a daughter than a mother. And when I looked at my husband, he didn’t look like a father; he looked like a son. We were two kids without a mother on Mother’s Day. (Yep, I’m setting this one up to be a real comedy hour, I know. But I will get to the silver lining, I promise.) So, on this day that has come to feel like “National You-Don’t-Have-a-Mom Awareness Day,” we opt to get outside. We hit the trails and stay away from social media at all

This past week, I showed Greta Gerwig’s coming of age dramedy “Lady Bird” for my college film club. Faculty and students were able to discuss the impact of a female director and delve into the startling dialogue that still plays over in my mind. The movie captures perhaps the most authentic example of a mother/daughter relationship that I have ever seen on screen. In one such perfect scene, Lady Bird and her mother are shopping for prom dresses. The following conversation hap

“You have always been an example of strength to your friends. I say all this to say I love you so much, and I am so proud of you.” -email from Mom (2008) I have 26,098 emails in my inbox. It is a result of neglect, but it has also turned out to have a silver lining. It led me back to my mom’s voice. Emails from ten years ago are full of her words of encouragement. She was my cheerleader and biggest fan. Tears filled my eyes as I read “proud” and “thank you” over and over agai

“I’m going to practice saying yes more this year.” “SHUT UP!” “Oy! That’s a TERRIBLE idea.” These were the heartfelt responses from my tribe of loving and supportive colleagues. In their defense, they know that I tend to be tired and overextended. I am a full-time faculty member teaching six composition classes, my family owns a CrossFit affiliate, and I am pursuing my calling as a writer. Oh yeah, and there are the two little humans I am raising. I have clearly said some ver

There was the time that my daughter used writing to breathe new life into me. On this day, I realized my nine year old had seen me, the real

Instead of a swear jar, I can create a “should” jar to hold myself accountable. Though it will take work and discipline, I refuse to enter t

It is easy for me to look at my early devotion as a mother and think I was “better” back then. If my kids slept, ate, and had on clean cloth

“Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?” - Dr. Brené Brown I just finished reading Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. I made several notes and tried to really reflect upon myself and where I am in my life. But then I arrived at the last chapter, which happens to be about parenting. It smacked me across the face. From the second I read the subheading, I started to mumble and g

That could have been me. I just can’t shake the idea that due to incredible luck beyond my control, I was born in the right place at the rig

"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids." - Unknown I am about one sign up genius away from losing my....mind. This has become the year of bacon wrapped green bean bundles. I have taken them to at least one event per week for the past four weeks. I can roll those babies in my sleep. My kids’ most recent signup genius asked for craft donations, and my computer offered to auto-fill “bacon wrapped green bean bundles.” We don’t even remember a time when

“There’s a part of me that likes shoes, and likes dresses, and likes makeup, and likes books, and likes to write. I think that’s the case for many women. But our culture makes us think we have to choose slices of ourselves that we’re comfortable showing the world.” -Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie As often happens, our family dinner conversation took a strange turn. We were discussing cultural grooming practices. “Female shaving has been used historically to keep women in a visually

“You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.” Khalil Gibran, “On Children” (from The Prophet) I just finished reading another book by Sarah Addison Allen. She crafts beautiful

“Whoever is present are the right people. Whenever it begins is the right time. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened. And when it's over, it's over.” Anne Lamott, Some Assembly Required: A Journal of My Son's First Son Remember times in life when you were so happy to gain acceptance? I was accepted to Appalachian State University, New York University, and different internships or programs. It was means for celebration. Then, this week my mom got her fin