UNBECOMING

I have no desire to age gracefully. I plan to age wildly. I wrote the "On Aging" post about year ago. The message is still the same today. I have one more year to dance on the tail end of my thirties, but I plan to take my forties by storm! Seane Corn, celebrated yoga teacher and social activist, described her process of "Aging Wildly" when she turned fifty. I look at aging as a privilege, and as I get older I truly appreciate how short our time is in these bodies, and I don’

“Southerners love a good tale. They are born reciters, great memory retainers, diary keepers, letter exchangers . . . great talkers.” ― Eudora Welty “We didn’t get spanked! It was the 70s. My parents went to workshops on how to parent.” This friend and colleague was born and raised in upstate New York. She was talking to me and a fellow coworker, who was born and raised in the South. We exchanged a sly southern smile. “We got whoopins...in the 70s...in the South.” He almost s

“Until a lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter.” -African Proverb I begin every semester by teaching narrative writing. I encourage my students to use their voice to speak their truth. Narrative writing allows us to reflect on past experience and the way it shaped who we have become. There is power in telling our story. We own it. Nobody can take that away from us. Recent events have highlighted the power of speaking our truth. Movements such as #metoo

“I like to walk around with bare feet and I don't like to comb my hair.” ― Beyoncé Knowles “Hair girl is booked. Guess I will go as myself to Thanksgiving gatherings.” “Well, I like yourself.” It is a good thing. If my husband’s love was contingent upon the state of my hair, I would be in trouble. Last week, a coworker told me she was ready to have a hair intervention. Another friend sent me a Facebook memory from three years ago. “I think you brushed your hair that day.” O

I am a writing teacher. Words are the tool of my trade. I help students learn how to transform their thoughts into coherent pieces of writing to reach their intended audience. It would only be natural that I am a keen observer of language. Much as a bird watcher can pick out a call or shade of feather, my eyes are drawn to typos or beautifully crafted prose. It should not come as a surprise that recently when my carpool partner mentioned the verbiage of the Girl Scout oath, I

Last week, we had a scale at our CrossFit gym. We were filling sandbags and needed exact weights. It did not take long for the scale to become the center of attention. “Why is THAT here?” “I’m NOT getting on that thing!!” Almost every woman who entered the front door cringed when she saw it. One simple, metal square with a tiny flashing screen was terrorizing the entire community. I had several conversations that week about perspective. We do not encourage our CrossFit athlet

Yes, I am older, weathered and scarred, but I am strong in a homegrown way that can only be earned. The resilience and personal strength I h

“There’s a part of me that likes shoes, and likes dresses, and likes makeup, and likes books, and likes to write. I think that’s the case for many women. But our culture makes us think we have to choose slices of ourselves that we’re comfortable showing the world.” -Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie As often happens, our family dinner conversation took a strange turn. We were discussing cultural grooming practices. “Female shaving has been used historically to keep women in a visually

“The Work of You” No one is coming to save you, to give you permission, to choose you, or validate you. This has always been your job. You must love yourself so fiercely and fully that you have no other choice but to be strong for yourself, to fight for yourself, to be yourself, and to build yourself. -Cara Alwill Leyba Permission. This word keeps popping up throughout the landscape of my life. It haunts me in the books and articles I am reading and continues to echo in conve