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  • Writer's pictureJaime Pollard-Smith

No, You Sign MY Sign Up Genius

"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids." - Unknown

I am about one sign up genius away from losing my....mind. This has become the year of bacon wrapped green bean bundles. I have taken them to at least one event per week for the past four weeks. I can roll those babies in my sleep. My kids’ most recent signup genius asked for craft donations, and my computer offered to auto-fill “bacon wrapped green bean bundles.” We don’t even remember a time when my kitchen did not smell like crisp, salted pork, which is not necessarily a bad thing. And why? Because it’s early December!

You see, if you are a college writing teacher, this is NOT the most wonderful time of the year. This is the survival mode, will I ever make it, I’m not paid enough for this, blood shot eyes time of the year. We know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but there are plagiarized run-ons blocking out any semblance of it. Bah-humbug.

Add to this stress the fact that everyone around you is scurrying about in holiday bliss. Decorate this! Eat that! Please RSVP! Toss in a side of motherhood obligation and every single school celebration known to humankind. There are endless opportunities for disappointing your children. Time should also be allotted for every branch of the family while social media flashes the Christmas countdown. Only 15 shopping days remain! Time is running out!

Meanwhile, I am having trouble remembering to put real shoes on before I leave the house. I have no bandwidth for these menial tasks. My brain is a computer with 52 browser windows open. I am just standing here with a spinning circle waiting to load.

But there is hope. Soon, I will submit my final grades of the semester and jump for joy at the beautiful gift of time - time to slow down and enjoy the finer things in life while eating myself sick with that evil Chex mix peanut butter powdered sugar crack my best friend always makes. Until then, I thought I might make a little sign up genius of my own. I’m sure I could pool some resources to get it all done quickly and efficiently. A girl can dream, right?

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