Planned Partnerhood

“This table is too big.”

“We can’t sit next to that man working. Our conversations will ruin his day.”

“Do you think those have dairy in them?”

“This chair is too low for me.”

“Yes, something that delicious definitely has dairy in it.”

And so begins a meeting with my planning partners at a local French coffee shop. One stylish blonde mother of four with goddess-like height and kindness. One life coach/yogi mother of three and two giant schnauzers. One wise spiritual advisor standing proud at 4 feet 10 inches and mother of two. Lastly, rounding out the group, one unkempt dreaded-bun hippie mother of two. We meet for coffee or yoga on a regular basis and exchange texts for accountability and inspiration.

On this occasion, we were coming together to celebrate our progress in 2020 and discuss our Desire Map Planners. Yep, it is about as unconventional as it sounds. The four of us have been using Danielle LaPorte’s planner to set heart-centered intentions and priorities each week. We talk about what is and is not working. We share the latest books we have been reading or podcasts we have discovered. It has become a sacred space for listening and learning.

The pièce de résistance, our planner, is unique in that it focuses less on what gets accomplished and more on how those accomplishments make us feel. It prioritizes self-care and pleasure. Each week contains a space to write a love letter to yourself, as well as a gratitude list and a “Stop Doing/Not Working” section. The pages are filled with words such as: imagine, dedicate, devotion, nourish, connection, joy. Ultimately, the idea is that we design the way we feel by owning our life choices. It is sacred because we say it is sacred. Appointments with the soul (meditation), yoga, CrossFit (for me), reading, writing, outdoor time and even sex all take up well-deserved space in the week. The goal is to keep activities in our day-to-day lives that help us to feel and be our best selves.

As we sat down to our coffees and teas on that particular day, I gushed with gratitude. “I feel so lucky to have a group of friends who will meet with me to discuss our life planners. Who else has this?” My spiritual nerd game is strong.

“I manifested this. I made it happen.”

My friend was adamant. She owned it. I laughed because I could have sworn I planned our meeting and actually got it on the agenda of our lives. She meant that she had asked for a group of friends to support and guide her through this latest phase of life— kindred spirits. And therein lies the beauty.

Yes, Danielle LaPorte created, marketed and sold us the planners, but we forged a sisterhood of accountability and personal growth. Creating something out of nothing is my favorite! I have long believed that you don’t wait for people to join you. Find your most enthusiastic YESes, follow your heart, and you will find your people there.

As we grow and develop as humans, our tastes and interests will change. It only makes sense. Rather than clinging to the old and lamenting what is gone, there is opportunity for additional and unexpected connections. A tried and true type 7 on the Enneagram, I have found that this period of my life has been less about new geographical locations and more about new centers of human connection. Love expands and new horizons are just one stranger away.

This new soulful circle in my life came about because we found a common desire and understanding that when we heal ourselves, we heal the world. We are just four women walking this journey of motherhood, womanhood and humanhood together. Where some people (including our husbands and children) may roll their eyes at us discussing our core desired feelings, our planned partnerhood is busy enjoying an opportunity to empower each other. The guru is you, but it sure helps to have some extra eyes and hearts to remind you of that along the way.

-JPS